The plus size world is a much better place for having lived through 25 years of Oprah. How we’ll miss her! Oprah’s vulnerability and her willingness to share gave us insight into our own struggles with weight and self-esteem. But with all that great success and self-awareness, she still lamented about her fat arms. “Now I know why the royals wave the way they do,” she said during one of her “aha moments”. All those years wasted when she could have controlled those flying wings!
A post in Frisky recently asked, “Why is the lone plus size woman in Bridesmaids wearing a different dress” ? Does the young, plus size and too fabulous writer know that just like Nora Ephron’s book “I Feel Bad about My Neck”, some of us plus size ladies have issues with our “Hadassah arms” or as a former co-worker said, “mature hams“.
Yes, we feel empowered as a community, but we’re reluctant to face the issues we still have with our body parts. Most of us aren’t going to throw away that all important cardigan the way feminists burned their bras. We’ll take extra care to put together”a look” that tucks in with shape wear and doesn’t expose the world to our perceived flaws. Should we dress our plus size figures provocatively or will we end up provoking the ire of our slimmer sisters? Their wrath is an unspoken secret among plus size girls with pretty faces as illustrated in a scene from Rikki Lake’s TV 1989 movie, “Babycakes” where as the “shy, fat girl”, she gets a verbal lashing from her boyfriend’s ex about her size.
I once wore beige stirrup pants (my fashion faux pas) over a long, cream silk tunic to work many years ago. A management meeting followed where knit stirrup pants were permanently banned. I suspected I was the culprit. The sight of a possible cellulite bump peeking through was deemed a visual assault to our Beverly Hills clientele. Perhaps that was the very same reason Ashley Graham’s voluptuous curves were deemed too naughty for prime time. Show us a little bit, but don’t give us abboudanza (Italian for abundance). And, despite Oprah’s trading in her voluminous Australian skirt for a Zac Posen hip hugging gown (at the Oscars) displaying her illustrious curves, she was criticized. Society still expresses ambivalence towards plus size sexuality. Show us a peek, but don’t overtly expose us to your extreme curves, breasts, arms or butt.
We’re working at finding the right balance of dressing our plus size curves while maintaining sexual allure. It’s a difficult road to navigate, but we’re still searching for style with a sexy point of view. In the meantime, I no longer believe the fat ass has to go. I am not just a pretty face or a hank of hair, I can be the total plus size package. Just ask Oprah.
About Deborah Friedman
Deborah Friedman helped pioneer the plus-size modeling industry in New York, as one of the first such models photographed by Marco Glaviano (whose lense has also focused on former main-stream model Kelly Emberg). An interest in the film industry prompted a move to Los Angeles where Deborah continued modeling while working as a feature writer for BBW (Big Beautiful Woman Magazine). Inspired by the growing demand for plus-size clothing, Deborah entered the garment industry as a salesperson representing the Richard Simmons clothing line. This led to a career in sales and merchandising where Deborah often created designs reflecting a fresh, updated perspective. She introduced a plus-size pleat pant design that became a popular bestseller for many manufacturers. The cocoon dress, another of Deborah's bestselling designs, was proclaimed a hit by fashion critic Mr. Blackwell. While catering to celebrities at Hammacher Schlemmer's chic Rodeo Drive location in Beverly Hills, Deborah achieved the status of top salesperson. She moved on to develop her own catalog marketing firm where she specialized in promoting a variety of products -- from wind-defying umbrellas to health and fitness programs. Now, Deborah brings us her personal experience, business acumen, and appreciation for quality design and manufacture to www.plussizeplum.com an online lingerie boutique and her blog www.plussizeplum.com/blog
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PLUS Mag Updates Our Right To Bare Arms – The plus size world is a much better place for having lived through 25 yea… http://ow.ly/1cTxMk
PLUS Mag Updates Our Right To Bare Arms – The plus size world is a much better place for having lived through 25 yea… http://ow.ly/1cTxMk
I believe that we live in a world where people will always talk. Whether the it’s the fat ass, big arms, (my girlfriend and I call them our kimono sleeve arms), any and all of my tall hips and curves, it will always be something. We live in an age where comparing our selves to others is a national past time. How sad. We must figure out where we will stand on these issues and how “big” or important they will become. In my book, these are small in comparison to health, aging family and friends.
To tell you the truth, I will never be like any one else and for that, I am thankful.
Great post Deborah. Thank you.
I know all too well his bad it feels to be self conscious of your arms…I once had a whole conversation with a guy where I was pretty sure he was staring at the fatty dimples if my arms…in that instant I wished I could just rip them off…but as I have gotten older and more confident I boldly bare these hams…and ny game…cause all of me is fab. Thank you for the article….I thought I was alone.
Deborah I remember that incident actually. I even think I remember the exact outfit and you really looked beautiful in it. I also remember how absolutely stunning you were back then. You had the most gorgeous, shiny long hair I had ever seen, big sexy lips, and a great curvy body. You put all other employees ( and customers) to shame no matter what their dress size was. I have thought of you so often over the years and always as just one of those incredible women you meet that you can never forget.
Our Right To Bare Arms by Deborah Friedman http://ow.ly/54cJD
RT @Plusmodelmag: Our Right To Bare Arms by Deborah Friedman http://ow.ly/54cJD
RT @Plusmodelmag: Our Right To Bare Arms by Deborah Friedman http://ow.ly/54cJD
WOW! Our brains were really on the same path! I just posted the Show Your Beautiful Arms project on my blog on Thursday. I think this is a good compliment to my post, and love PMM.
Hope you check out my post too! It’s http://www.fatshionchic.com
XOXO
Jessica Kane
Loving this post by Plus Model Magazine "Our Right To Bare Arms", a perfect compliment to my recent Show Your… http://fb.me/W3bLF34k
there was a time when I ashamed of my arms. I hate them so much I worn a jacket in 90 degree plus weather in summer time. You could see the sweat all over my fact because I wa so scared of my arms,but now I am not so ashamed I find the right clothes and right fit and I am now comfortable with my arms, it took a long time to get there so I know how all of you feel.
http://plus-model-mag.com/2011/05/our-right-to-bare-arms/ http://fb.me/WOyyRJzt