Vogue Article Exposes Mom’s Fat-phobic Influence On Seven Year Old Daughter

I believe there are many reasons why people of size are discriminated against, and in this month’s issue of Vogue, we see one of the main reasons. A mom counting calories for her seven year old daughter and denying her dinner.

Dara-Lynn Weiss, the author, was told by her pediatrician that her daughter was clinically obese at 4’4″ and 93 pounds. What was her reaction? Dara-Lynn decided to monitor everything her daughter put in her mouth. Weiss is quoted as saying ” I once reproachfully deprived Bea of her dinner after learning that her observation of French Heritage Day at school involved nearly 800 calories of Brie, filet mignon, baguette, and chocolate. I stopped letting her enjoy Pizza Fridays when she admitted to adding a corn salad as a side dish one week. I dressed down a Starbucks barista when he professed ignorance of the nutrition content of the kids’ hot chocolate whose calories are listed as “120-210″ on the menu board: Well, which is it? When he couldn’t provide an answer, I dramatically grabbed the drink out of my daughter’s hands, poured it into the garbage, and stormed out.

As a mother I could not imagine doing something like this to my daughter. If there was a problem, I would initiate ways for her to have a healthier relationship with food and increase her physical activity, but again only if there really was a problem. This is being fat-phobic. Teaching your daughter to value what you look like more than your health is morally irresponsible. This is one of the reasons why we have young girls throwing up, starving themselves and growing up to hate their own bodies as they develop into young women. Not all women are supposed to be tiny, wake up people!

Bea lost 16 pounds after her mothers monitoring and had this to say to her mother, “That’s still me,” she says of her former self. “I’m not a different person just because I lost sixteen pounds.” I protest that indeed she is different. At this moment, that fat girl is a thing of the past. A tear rolls down her beautiful cheek, past the glued-in feather. “Just because it’s in the past,” she says, “doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”

I’m no expert in these matters but I truly believe if this behavior continues, this little girl will suffer from an eating disorder and low self-esteem. In order to not disappoint her mother she will sacrifice her body unless someone can intervene. Where is child protective services when you need them?

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Comments

  1. Jesika Jeune says

    This article breaks my heart and gives me more evidence to my theory that we need to develop a system or devise some kind of a test to determine who can become a parent. This mom fails with flying colors. So sad :(

  2. geri says

    This is an extreme example of something that is sadly very common. While my mom never curbed mine or my sister’s diets as children, her comments about her body and the “always needing a diet” comments she would make did make it through my kid filter. When I hear mothers tell their daughters “Don’t eat that, you’ll get fat”, it’s the verbal version of raking fingernails down a chalkboard. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and “thin” doesn’t always equal “healthy”

  3. Ericka Blanding says

    Where do I begin with this one…Should I scream or get on a plane and find this mother and beat her down…How dare she start her daughter on an Emotionally, Mental, and Physically Roller Coaster….I have two of the Most Beautiful Daughters the World ahs ever Seen and I would Never do such a thing!!!When people meet my girls they are caught off guard at how Strong Willed they are…I pride my girls up from the day they we’re put in my womb by my GOD…I spoke nothing but Praise over them and today I let them know let no one still your Joy, Identiy, or your Will to Walk a Different Path, not even me…But it’s what Society, and the Media has portrade Plus Size to be and that’s it’s a SIN TO BE BIG & BEAUTIFUL…So until we put a stop to it, it’s up to us strong mothers and fathers to let our children know…THAT NO MATTER WHAT SIZE YOU ARE, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL..And my Motto to My Girls is ( IF GOD WANTED ALL OF US TO LOOK ALIKE HE WOULD HAVE DONE…STARTING WITH ADAM AND EVE…)

  4. Mel B says

    I have always been slightly on the heavy side, but my mother always made sure I never got too big.She never called me fat or made me feel uncomfortable, but I knew that my diet wasn’t similar to my other thin siblings. While everyone at mash potatoes and other strachy sides, my mother gave me meat and salad. There were only fruits, fat free pudding, yogurt, and other healthy foods. All of teh snacks were locked up in her room. Rarely remember having cookies in the house. My favorite snack was fruit loops and cheerios in skim milk. The only juice we had was cranberry, apple, and my mother loved freshly squeezed grapefruit and orange.I remember my sister taking after her father, she was tall and thin. She could get away with eating a snickers bar infront our mother, but not me. She would yank it and throw it out the window, My mother made sure that I was at least playing two sports while in school. Now that I’m 28 I am size 16, and she hates it with a passion. She worked so hard to keep my weight down, and look how big I am now. I struggled to stay a size 8-10 most of my adult life. I grew jealous of my thin sister who never had a weight issue. I remember when my sister was trying on wedding dresses and my mother just blushed by how perfect her 5foot9 122 pound frame looked. When I tried on my bridesmaid dress she gave a faint smile and said “the color is lovely”. Yes I’m hurt, because even at my age now I still get upset when my mom makes comments about my size. Sometimes parents dont know how much they hurt their children, they think that the did their best. The french are very thin people, i know because I could barely fit my size 16 booty on their chairs when I visited paris.

  5. mechelle says

    I had a cousin who use to do this very same thing to her girls. Restricting their food and counting intake. When they were little it worked but as they got older it backfired and they both became out of control in there eating habits to this day they are overweight.
    So really it doesn’t work and it causes a lot of stress on the mother as well always having to monitor to try to monitor the childs intake.
    IT DOESN’T WORK!!!

  6. says

    WOW! Never mind that using a BMI chart to diagnose obesity is highly misguided; that little girl is just on the very tip between “normal” and “over-weight” for that chart. No where near obese. 4′ 4″ and 98 lbs sounds healthy to me!

    This reminds me of something a friend of mine wrote on her blog recently about a mother yelling at her daughter in a retail store to put down a shirt because the girl found it in the plus-size section, and the mother didn’t want her to “catch the fat”. *rolls eyes*

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