If a partner is behaving oddly but not saying outright that they’re unhappy, watch for these red flags which are usually, though not always, popping up for the first time.
They’re retreating from shares spaces. If you live together they might be spending more time in their man cave or their home office. If you spend a few nights a week together they might be sleeping over less. Maybe they keep going into another room but you can hear their voice talking on the phone, or they’re always texting.
They’re not as interested in sex with you. If there are no medical or psychological reasons for a change in sex drive or libido, this can be a blinking, neon red flag.
They’re spending too many late nights at work. If they’ve always pulled a few all nights each month this may not be a warning sign. But if suddenly it’s a few a week, ask what’s up.
A sudden disregard for your needs and wants may be indicative of trouble. Did they used to ask what you wanted to eat/watch/do and now they’re just choosing things you hate? It could be spiteful.
He or she might go to events and encourage you not to attend or they may increase the intensity of hobbies that don’t include you.
You may choose to ignore signs something is amiss and go on with your life.
The danger with that is that you may roil inside with rage that could manifest in displaced anger. Instead of facing the problem you may explode when your partner sneezes, or tells a joke, or even if they just say good morning. Sniping at each other is a good barometer of deep conflict.
You should ask for a heart-to-heart to explain the behavior.
If it’s something that can be remedied by compromise, then sign a pact that you’ll each adjust certain behaviors. If it’s more complex, look to a counselor’s help. But try before quitting.